Approaching the Opposite Gender

A basic understanding of common sexual instinct is useful in finding an ideal lover. Women are typically are stimulated by sounds and men are stimulated by sights. This is helpful in distinguishing between compatibility and instinct.

Women often decline having sexual urges because women rarely place fantasies of courtship in to sexual premises. Emphasis usually revolves around spending time together and other random thoughts about finding a fulfilling relationship with a man.

Men know they have sexual urges because most, maybe all, men experience random thoughts of sexual positions when encountering a woman. These thoughts are are measurable by suddenly imagining the most awkward, yet still enjoyable image of intercourse.

While woman often follow general advice to avoid play fighting and other contact with men during and after adolescence, women frequently deny having sexual urges. The response is not exciting or particularly noticeable; except for desiring physical contact, a bluish-haze and noticing a man's handsome features more frequently during conversations. Most woman can experience all of these signs of susceptibility and still declare it is only a friendship because they assess men quickly as friend or lover though simultaneously demanding attention from a particular man while engaging in lowering his chances of meeting another woman who acknowledges she likes him.

Men value attraction above everything else when seeking a lover. It is also important to be emotionally and intellectually compatible, yet they know the difference between friends and lovers is sex; ergo, they should find their lover attractive.

Women want to know what men find attractive. There are no definitive answers. As mentioned men are visually stimulated and become aware of instincts to avoid unfavorable courtships. Even studies showing men find breasts, legs or buttocks attractive are faulty because each men imagines a largely differing image when thinking of this stimulus.

Defending self from potentially unfavorable relationships is as simple as acknowledging sexual urges and the clock for women. When identifying someone as a friend avoid physical contact, even if wanting to hold hands or engage in snuggling. It is highly inappropriate and makes women open to the idea of sexual contact even when not thinking about having sex. The other tip is to let men pursue lovers. Give them personal space and acknowledge urges before feeling tingling sensations.

Defending self from potentially unfavorable relationships for men involves noticing other aspects of a women besides attraction. There will always be encounters wherein the first test is beer goggles. Beer goggles is how many beers it would take to find a particular woman attractive. Often woman's graphic slide-show is either painful or lacking potential and in both instances unpleasant. Only someone with relative appeal seems attractive.

Look for indicators of compatibility by noticing clothes or finding out interests by asking a Sister, Mother, Friend or Friend's Girlfriend to assess if she actually has similar interests and the group finds her agreeable. I know men do not notice clothing, shoes, makeup or hair styles.

The ability for women and men to convey what they find attractive is seemingly impossible. This might be because we sense different aspects through sound and sight, yet it appears there is no clear method to explain how or why someone is beautiful.

I imagine courtships amongst people of the same gender remains largely female or male. Women engage in talking to each other, establish rules of conduct and sense motivations through subtle variations in tone. This might be similar to finding a best friend. There is a time of testing a potential best friend through short conversations to determine if it is possible to spend more time chatting. This activity is not always sexual between women.

Men notice visual aspects and body language to communicate at a higher level. Often thoughts translate into body language. I have had many male friends and manage to communicate, "Maybe I felt something, but we are only friends," by shrugging. While enjoying talking through body language when spending time playing video games, watching television or any miscellaneous activity these activities become the basis for a courtship. Regardless of studies making men sound as though they have an uncontrollable mental illness most have values and want rewarding relationships with people.

Women become susceptible, while men become aggressive. When wanting to maintain a long relationship women maintain attractiveness by eating similar foods and engaging in similar activities though modifying diet to height, age and gender. Though women deny urges, it might be the same advice for men though standard advice recommends engaging women in conversation while holding each other.

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