Distance Defense

Lately news and public service announcements talk about online predators and bullies. While many distinguish these as separate topics, the method of protection is similar. When talking about self-defense many people believe it is an issue of hitting the hardest and doing the most damage; however, stepping back and running away is what protects most from harm.

Online predators are like thieves. My Mom once told me a story about how she and some of her friends watched a thief go door-to-door when she was younger. The thief turned the doorknob. If it was locked they went to the next house. They imagined thief would go inside to steal when a door was unlocked.

It is easy to lock doors or offer challenges by having conditions on who may and may not have personal information like a phone number or address. This allows time to ask questions and learn about the person. Make arrangements to meet an unknown person in a public place. Jot down their known information, name, e-mail address and login name so if they are creepy police have a start point to begin a search. Leave information with a friend or family member. If feeling discrete, leave the message somewhere where it is easily found.

Do the same thing if meeting them at home. Call a friend or family member and casually tell them their name and how you met. Life is not scripted. A person cannot depend on a family member or friend to rush in and offer support. They are probably busy with their own life this why an escape plan is necessary in defense. Confidence, even when totally alone, allows a person to take beneficial risks.

Home defense is similar to a fire drill. Know where all the exits are and get out of the house as quickly as possible. I met someone on the internet. They visited my home for a weekend. We went to dance clubs and had a lot of fun. They were polite and were fine sleeping in the living room. I was great meeting them in real life and making a new friend.

These types of experiences are great; however, each person is different and must be screened equally as well in each encounter. Many great experiences might make a person lazy. Luckily, it turned out okay. If it didn't I was living along in an apartment, yet it was easy to leave even if he began to act aggressively.

Sometimes it is difficult to realize what other people want. It might not be blatant. Hypothetically an internet friend brought a DVD to watch while chatting. If they become aggressive, a person might want their guest to leave since it is their home. This does not always workout and might create a situation of rape or abuse. Leave the house and go to a neighbor's house to call police. If you have a camera, take a picture of them or their car in front of the house to get a restraining order or correctly identify them.

Don't worry about finding a cell phone or camera. It is like running from a burning building. Just make an excuse to get up and then walk out the door. If living in a single level home with windows that open easily say you're going to the bathroom and then crawl out of the window. If the cell phone is close grab it on the way out, so it is easier to call the police.

I prefer remaining calm in awkward situations. There is a greater chance they will leave at a reasonable time and there was no reason to overreact. I don't have to invite them over again if they seem creepy. When they are clearly predators, gracefully leaving is better than a fist fight while trying to run to a public sidewalk or friend's home.

Bullies are a unique category, because they often abuse people publicly and feel justified in the abuse they deliver to others. Problems increase with fighting. While someone feels they are defending themselves, they are actually starting fights, similar to a bully. It becomes confusing. Who is bullying whom? Whether unsure you'll have self-control talking to them or they are provoking you, maintain distance. Avoiding obsessing over what they are doing. Focus on friends and make it clear that they are approaching to behave negatively.

This might sound cold and might be cold; however, life is short. It is deciding whether or not to spend several hours wondering why people don't like your style, gossip, say rude things or fight when there are other people who already like you and you like them. They assist in making life enjoyable and productive. It is not always the end of a relationship either. Time to work on bettering one's self is time to work on accepting them for who they are or self-improvement for future encounters.

We often empathize with predators and bullies. Understanding they feel confused or they are in grief. The aggressive stance relates to vulnerability or overcompensating because of past experience or fear. This might be true, yet it does not give them permission to affect everyone mentally or physically whether welcome or unwelcome. There is never a question about whether or not a murdered person wanted to be murdered. They did not want to be murdered. Therefore, be constructive by walking away and creating distance from people who want you to do something you don't want to do.

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