No matter how out-of-control a person may feel they have control over themselves. Some people promote the idea of having no control over whether they are happy, sad, angry or bored, yet this is a falsehood. Control over emotions is one of the few powers a person has in a chaotic world. There is always a way to be entertained, even when bored.
Author Jim Keith talks about reality in "Saucers." Existence is the formation of elements composing world, while reality is how an individual interprets available information. Keith also discusses people allowing themselves to be victims. It is because there are situations in the world to which we do not have control. Sometimes thinking about hypothetical events leaves an individual in mental paralysis. It is true we are only who we are; however, self-control is how people build character and gain the freedom we desire.
My college years were stressful. Feeling apprehensive over small details there was a tendency to over-analyze people. Recalling the look on one of my teacher's face, she was neither sad nor happy. This could profoundly affect my performance, yet I often become preoccupied with various thoughts and rarely smile at everyone and everything. At this moment, it was okay to move on and cope with the task of studying so I could graduate.
After graduating, I have a great degree of freedom. Often as a teen, in my college years, taking risks was heavily criticized. It was crucial to maintain the standard path, stay focused and never look for other opportunities. It was too easy as an average person to fall off the path. Truthfully, "Who will save you?" Yet, after accepting challenges and succeeding; it was not so much being given a free pass from everyone's critiques; it was testing my own skills to have greater confidence in my abilities.
Criticism bothers me sometimes. It is not quite as detrimental to my goals, because other people regardless of how frequently they feel they know people than they know themselves, "I know myself better than they do," which is true of everyone.
Every individual knows themselves better than any observer. It is important to know the difference between outward appearances in inward virtues. It bothers me when another person decides someone is less than their true potential. It aggravates me when other people personify people into negative stereotypes and the reaction is "You might as well live it if that is what everyone thinks about you."
Some premises are hurtful and cause self-destructive behavior. Being a part of the Goth scene one evening's conversation was haunting. Already being a person who is an individual and developing resistance to people's assumptions, who takes on a, "You couldn't be more wrong," attitude a person I worked with held a party at their home. They engaged me in a conversation and explained they previously worked with juveniles in a rehab center.
While she admitted she never talked to "one of my kind" outside work, her opinion of Goths was insulting. "We all have emotional problems, wear black leather, are sexually promiscuous and have mental issues." She was the most ignorant person I ever met. Instead of, concluding Goths are insane, she could have realized all the juveniles at the institution have issues. She probably had many examples of people with similar appearance to demonstrate how unique everyone is as an individual, yet the assumption is I would be like a juvenile delinquent.
Remaining in control, I talked to her awhile and left. I have control over myself, so decided not to talk to her anymore. Why spend endless time trying to prove Goths are descent people, only to turn aggravation into hatred which will evolve into not talking to her, which will continue her ideal of Goths being mentally unstable? There is never a reason to preoccupy time with people who are aggravating or people you aggravate. She can go experiment on someone else and learn to keep opinions to herself in the future.
As someone with exposure to a wider group of people there are several Goths who are moral, go to church and aspire to respectable life. There are several examples in the real world. Understanding this might make it is easier to be graciousness to everyone. There is neither a need to over-react or have open communication.
Communication can be overrated. Several techniques exist in functional business atmospheres to avoid gossip and still gain feedback. Business gurus recommend stating exactly what they are doing and prepare a minute introduction to avoid gossip. Personal information is unnecessary. People care about doing there job well; therefore, tolerance is the only expectation for maintaining professionalism.
A person should always have control over themselves, even if they have to argue and fight over issues. Personal space and right to being is a right given when a person is born.
Related Article
Distance Defense
Being the Non-Stalker
Good Tree
Keeping a Good Attitude
Unleashing the Subconscious
Quirky Books
The Ego and the Id by Sigmund Freud
Saucers by Jim Keith
