Child Maturity verses Discipline

When a child is born, first impressions are based on their parents. Identifying the difference between raising a child and abuse is an ongoing concern. Local news is proactive in reporting incidents where a child was shaken to death. What is the line?

A child only mimics behavior until 7 or 8 years of age. Occasionally babysitting or being around people with children it is odd watching situations escalate as the child repeats what is being said to them. The parent yells at them to do as they're told and the child yells back. The parent raises their hand and the child raises their hand. An ongoing battle it appears manipulative, yet doing what you want the child to do could have a simple solution.

When a parent has one method of discipline the system begins to fail. Hit to punish, hit to reward, hit to show love and hit out of fear. How often do people say they whooped their child because they are concerned about something they saw on the news? They are being punished for not being victims and because the parent loves them. This is a paradox.

Growing up, my parents embarrassed me to resolve all issues. When I wet the bed she told everyone. When I got good grades or a job she told everyone. Though doing something well, it was like a punishment.

The best way to raise children is through example. Punish the person who should be punished to mimic life. When a person escalates a problem with rude comments and aggressive stance they will probably get in a fight. The parent could mention explain this calmly and avoid the full escalation to violence.

This varies from a girl wearing slutty clothes. Though the consequence might be a derogatory reputation or rape, they will not learn anything from being raped. Meanwhile discussing the issue calmly or randomly calling her a slut to enact the consequences might be worthwhile. I cannot imagine what would make any parent lock a child in a closet or empty room. However, if necessary to protect them or make them think about the situation locking them in a furnished room with homework, reading material and food so they may reflect on the situation. Torture is not a productive form of punishment.

What if they never do anything wrong? They dress appropriately and are virtuous, yet someone at school or friend engages in gossip. It might be appropriate find the person engaged in gossip to explain how calling a woman "slut" is wrong. Gossip is harmful and can produce violence, rape or other damaging activities that cause real harm. If their parents have a problem with you lecturing their child, it is time to lecture the parent on how they neglected to teach their child ethics. Invite your child to learn how to handle these issues in person.

Another problem involves whining and worrying about the child's safety. Consistent crying is unnerving. Positive a child will master their training, distractions could be a solution, yet it is incomplete. Train them to avoid fears from coming true in real life.

A training exercise could involve mimicking a kidnapping. Pretend to a predator. Claim you are there to pick them up. They say, let me call my parent and verify your story. You lean in to pick them up and they commence screaming, getting free and running away. They pass when successfully dodging being grabbed and run away.

Assist the activity with a video about a child who was kidnapped. Several dramatizations are available. Mention how the kid could have avoided the kidnapper by calling home or talking to a teacher. Watch another video with scenes of a child dodging harm. Their description of the person assists the police in capturing the predator. They contributed to insuring no other children were harmed by the same person.

Too often people think it is over after being victimized. This is not true. A child can tell parents, neighbors, or people at school. If they don't believe them; call police on their own. Advise them to go to an emergency room or hospital to gain proof. Children are able to protect themselves. Predators do not want to get caught. Knowing a child could imprison them makes all children less appealing to predators.

Growing up an odd man lurked around the church parking lot next to the school. They didn't suspect students at the school were reporting them and walking the long way home. Reportedly the man was trying to give out candy and stickers laced with drugs. He left after noticing adults looking at the parking lot. It was too late. He attempted the same activity at another school and was caught immediately with enough proof to convict.

Should a child be spanked for, "not trying hard enough?" If that is a value the parent wishes to bestow on the child, it makes sense. Perhaps the parent feels as though if they tried their hardest all the time they would have avoided failings in life. Parental values are not in question, only methods of raising children.

Related Article
Children are Children
Personal Notes About Me
Respect Between Parent and Child