Just Passing

In reference to a past article, "Being Non-Stalker," this article provides additional tips to navigating through stressful and potentially dangerous life events. I talk to Psychologists, for personal reasons, on occasion. Beginning this as a Preteen, meditation and review of past events does not produce realistic answers. Going over the problem, there are answers. None of them are acceptable. Usually, I get a referral through a Doctor or Work. It is not always the same Psychologist. Once I had to change Psychologists. The one I was talking to was not helping.

At most, I spoke to a Psychologist about one issue over a few weeks. A Psychologist through a work referral answered my question in one visit. I had suspicions someone was a Stalker. It might have been multiple people who attempted to damage my reputation. I was angry. I wanted to tell them that not to treat me badly.

I am not sure what happened. Thinking about it later, I feel partially responsible. I had a problem with abuse as a Child. People think it was my Parents. It was not. I was in the care of another person who did not enjoy taking caring of me. They felt it was their responsibility. One day, they picked me up after school. We rode home on a bicycle. They had a belt to keep me in place. I fell off and was held against the wheel for several block. It was extremely painful and removed several layers of skin and cut into the muscle. I passed out from pain. I went to the hospital. Their attitude was, they should not be responsible. Kids just whine all-the-time.

People were around. They tried to help. I vaguely remember people yelling. The Caregiver avoided everyone. Not until recent years, I realize people around the neighborhood harassed them. The eventually moved. There is no desire to return home. I learned many things because of this trauma. Except, I barely remember the entire event. I was only five years old when it happened.

I learned people will try to help someone, yet not be very effective. I realized that I do not want to be under someone's care or need help from someone who has diminishing viewpoints in relation to my character. People can be cruel. Not the Caregiver, the people who harassed them until they left. Some people have to feel superior over everyone. A person's life can be ruined with one mistake. Those who harass someone, never showing forgiveness, are bullies. After the problem had a resolution and the person learned from their mistake, the issue was resolved. Petty People are derisive. The want to feel virtuous and better than they are. They never know when a debt is paid and the issue is over.

Later in life, I have a tendency to be shy, especially around people who are stressful. I do not like any indication of being a burden to anyone. There is a tendency to want to provoke the issue when feeling a threat. Friendship should not be a chore. I want to get away from them. I perceive them as dangerous. Since that time, it is difficult to find a balance between being friendly and defending myself. I have a tendency to be overly-defensive or too friendly.

It is my Parents responsibility to care for me. There is an obvious flaw in part of the logic. I met some people. It was difficult to know if they were friendly or mean. I left like usual. Creating distance after a few experiences is my main plan. However, I had a friend who thought I should "stick-up-for-myself."

This is an internal conflict. It is fairly obvious that signs of wanting to help someone is not really a method of identifying someone as abusive. Quickly, I felt guilty and unsure of how it would end. I already had my game plan of just never talking to them again and avoiding them.

It was time to see a Psychologist. He said that I should move on with my life and go about daily life. Do not let thoughts of some stalking affect choices.

At that time, I worked as a Delivery Driver for a pizza shop. Someone wanted to let me know where someone else lived. It felt like they tried to tell me to avoid the area. What if a lot of people do that? I will be out-of-a-job and unable to support myself.

I still have a life and goals. I have to be somewhere. It was difficult to maintain regular activities to live an acceptable life. I should not have to change my route or conform to anything.

Currently, I am not sure what is going on. There is gossip. They had time to become better friends, yet there is a problems with Stalkers. I don't think anyone is stalking them. They might be stalking each other. There is a chance of harassment. People might thing they are insane.

I wonder what would have happened. I cannot make myself go into a situation that might be dangerous. I imagine they also have issues. It could have been diffused. If everyone spoke to each other, it would be possible to piece together what happened. That is a reason to encourage over-reacting to people.

I believe, it is better to know everyone can not "get along." It decreases stress on something that might be unresolvable. It might be resolvable. Continually aggravating a situation is a bad idea. In fact, without gossip, hurt feelings and inability to identify threats could have an end of a casual conversation one day. However, it is a big deal in my mind. It might be in their mind.

I do not know. I do not have all the answers. It is important to be able to admit that there are several unknown issues in the world. There are potentially many answers, yet I cannot see around corners or into people's personal lives. They would not know about me. I would not know about them. This is why Police are important.

Police do their job. Report crimes as they happen. Do not create crimes in attempts to obtain justice.

I received a phone call mid-morning one day. The person threatened me. I was only half-awake. I hoped it was a prank phone call. I knew someone was thinking about harming me. They had enough courage to call. I did not know who it was.

A slight misunderstanding can become worse. Get back to living. Do not give up control of your future, because it is important to protect their feelings. You have feelings and should be able to live well without harassment. Avoid being mean. Do not go out-of-your-way to be in contact with them. Not everyone has to be Friends. There is a difference between periodic venting and stalking.

Stalking is a serious crime involving a deep obsession to end somebody's life. It manifests slowly or quickly. A Person cannot escape repetitive problems, because they contribute to the same problem. I would enjoy not being apprehensive around people. Explore the idea of a better relationship. I have gotten better, yet many thoughts I have about them are probably thoughts. I do not know. Being aware of my own actions is diffuses the problem, at least for myself, maybe them one day.

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