In the still hours of the day or night, there can be a disruption. It is sudden and shocking. Someone finds themselves mistrustful or another is brutish. It is easy to react with gossip or true feelings of hurt. Someone else is standing there wondering what happened. It is uncomfortable to be a witness.
Feelings stir in the heart and mind, there is an anticipation. People have opinions an understanding they done something inadvertently through tough love, neglect or apathy. What are these opinions?
In the fabricated realms of the mind, the victim or martyr feels they have fought back. However; people have free minds. Many have or will suffer in similar situations. I personally feel awful seeing other people being embarrassed. I sympathize for anyone placed in a hostile spotlight. I might want to ask why. It could be a valid reason. It could be an action taken because of heightened emotion.
Is it alright to be callous or unfeeling? Is it alright to not have an opinion? Most of the time, people formulate ideas of whom is right or wrong. They became overly involved. That is fine. Most of the time, people empathize.
It is good knowing this. In the book "On Grief and Grieving" the author mentions a therapeutic method of explaining that most people empathize with people who storm out or leave abruptly. Embarrassment is intense. They are unable to return. They will not return to the party or to anything associated to the incident or those people.
It is like having to return a purchase. The thrill of buying something is replaced with gazing around wondering if people think you're poor. There are other reasons for the return. It was not what it was supposed to be or defective. Later, you will go back and purchase a similar item. How many people viewed this return?
Life is awkward. We all want to believe everyone took our side. They empathize with us. Truth reveals only fifty percent or less view our actions as good.
It takes personal strength to approach or decide embarrassment will not inhibit actions. I am not referring to unforgivable actions. There are times when personalities and opinions are inharmonious.
The activity of letting things go is essential to life. There is a sincere activity of forgiveness and the activity of challenging other people to forgive when deciding to let go of the past, and continue as though it was nothing. It is uncomfortable. Forgiveness is not guaranteed. Both parties are still hostile or defensive.
There are many reasons for why people say what they say or do what they do. It could be as simple as asking or stating what you honestly think or challenging other people to explain their actions. Conversation could include explaining how you understand their statements or actions.
It would be great if everyone always took my side and always understood without having to explain anything. It would nice to never say sorry. It would be great to not contemplate an appropriate time to say, "I understand;" "I saw what happened and wonder about what happened," or "I know it will be everything will be fine." They are safe. You are safe. I am safe. I do not judge you.
I empathize with people saying things they do not intend to say. I empathize with realizing later was hurtful or not ultimately correct. There was more to consider. Everyone has over-exaggerated or made impulse decisions.
I will think of all the mean people. They walk around judging people and saying mean things. It makes things worse. When it all comes down and they are the ones who are having problems, they will feel worse because they are so mean. Then I snap back to mindfulness and realize, I just want everything to work out. I hope the gap is filled and bridge back to fellowship is repaired.
It hurts seeing other people hurt. It reminds of us of our pain. It is possible to know all of these things by talking to people. It is not always a personal experience. I was surprised when people took words and thoughts I share with the world. They twisted it. They have their minds. I have my mind.
I would like to say. "Relax, it will not matter later." Sometimes it does matter and will affect lives. We all have methods of dealing with situations. Some approach quickly to avoid further problems. I create distance and separate from those who cause avoidable intensity. I still have to go to work. I still have to pursue happiness. It would be great if they respected the silence of mental and emotional distance as a boundary. People get offended by that.
Take life in stride. Find motivation to strive. Figure out when something is territory. It can be a hobby, career or even personal space. How far does personal space extends around us. It is important to share, empathize, be sincere and work to make improvements.
Related Article
Sick All-the-Time
Quirky Books
On Grief and Grieving by Kubler-Ross and Kessler
