The foremost method for breaking habits is to form other habits. What does that really mean? When a person realizes currents habits are unfulfilling create new habits to achieve goals or life the person desires. Often society focuses on specific habits proven to have a downside, yet lifestyles often have rewards.
One of my supervisors was an obese man. However, he was happy with himself and his lifestyle as the typical comic book guy who reads comic books and plays video games. He has many friends and outlets for personal expression. Doing well in school he achieved his dream of working as a teacher at a private school. Life from all directions is great; except, one day he broke his leg while taking a shower. It wasn't an accident. Pressure from body weight twisted the ankle and fractured his leg.
Does he want to become the total opposite of who he is? He is a great person with a fulfilling life; however, obesity is connected to some health problems. Does he have to have "six-pack" abs and look like a lead actor on major movies to have a complete life? He obtained his dream job, friends, family and happy life. Only a portion of his lifestyle should be adjusted to avoid injury. Personal trainers would want him to spend twenty hours in a gym. All he has to do is regulate his weight by limiting daily calories and occasionally exercise. If still feeling hungry continue light exercise, like raising arms over the head one hundred times until the hunger subsides. Still a large man, conservative change won't interfere with other aspects of life.
Sometimes one modification changes a person's entire life. A band deciding to modify their genre may change friends and persona. In worst case scenarios, fans do not know if they were alternative or country. Either way, they were acting as something they are not in order to become popular. An activity must people question.
People complain about drug lifestyle, yet when a person stops using drugs they also lose all their friends. This creates a huge loss. People who never used drugs associate the person with drugs, people still doing drugs are paranoid about getting caught and even when other friends give up drugs they usually isolate themselves or return to their neighborhood. Former friends may find they lack anything in common. Therefore, it may feel like their entire life is replaced.
Often people want to completely change over one problem in their life. Once in awhile life factors blend together creating a self destructive vortex. Frequently, many people engage in the similar lifestyles because it is rewarding. Drastic changes place psychological stress on the former addict. They miss all the wonderful aspects associated with the behavior. It isn't the nights feeling sick, abrasive criticism or wondering where your life is really going; it is the calm moments to enjoy life, socialize and positive feedback.
Drastic life changes inhibit a person's recovery as they desire all these things. It feels as though working toward the new goal is destroying their life. When a person wants to change they develop skills that will last the rest of their lives. As said before, when performing the new habits to build a better future, every day, week, month and year separates them from the past. A person may stumble time-to-time and it cannot be undone in a few days. In fact, every time a person daydreams about the past and then returns to the new plan it reinforces the resolution.
Perhaps they desire whatever they are giving up every three days. Every time they resist compensates the one time they gave in. Then urges come every few months. Now new habits are beginning to change other aspects of life making it difficult to go back to old habits. Of course, if the person finds they are better the other way, it will take time to change back to old habits. In addition, they will resist further treatment as it was confirmed they were acting correctly and no longer desire change.
Negative people are difficult to deal with. They consume other people with judgments and fears. This is why they are who they are. There are a myriad of individual identifications. People chose mentors and heroes as virtuous, heroic, peaceful, intelligent and happy. Wanting to be happy themselves, change is painful especially when a person is not becoming the virtuous person they know as themselves. It is easy to dream, fantasizing about the olden days of spending every night at another party or climbing the ranks in cyber gaming. People have to want something different in their life before risking being alone in a new life.
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