Philosology: Diffusing Violent Behavior

Friday, July 9, 2010

Diffusing Violent Behavior

Empathy is the ability to identify with a person or object. Sympathy is shared feelings though mutual experience. Empathy and sympathy are the best ways to diffuse conflict.

It appears people are dividing constantly. These divisions stimulate anger to the point of violent rage. Accounts of dissension resulting in violence are in "Vampire Nation" by Arlene Russo. Goths hate Vampires; Vampires hate Live Action Role-Players, and of course Vampire Hunters hunting Vampires. Why is all this happening? There is a strong lack of empathy.

Reading through the book, it appears "Real" Vampires identify themselves amongst a larger group, yet they are by most terms normal. They face the same problems as everyone else and degree of vampirism is negotiable. Are they immortal? No. Do they stalk victims? No. Do they want associations with criminals? No. Even the "power over other people" seems normal. Dominate personalities engage in over-powering others through eye-contact and appear to control the mood of larger groups, so why are people hunting other people? Why are limited cases of vampires murdering people exploited in the news? Why does society feel okay about committing murder if the victim is a self-proclaimed vampire?

Though lacking empathy on the subject, it appears various Non-Christian groups, including, vampires have assaulted the character of Christians over the many years by citing pedophiles and famous serial killers as practicing Christianity or being raised in a Christian home. Most people in the United States are Christian; therefore, most people have an association to Christianity. Now Christians have a chance to slander vampire communities. It bothers me how disconnected the author is from their own slander, while complaining about slander.

There is an estimated forty serial killers in the United States amongst billions of people, yet they are responsible for most murders. Logic dictates you probably do not know a serial killer. There is a lack of reason to assume anyone is a murderer, yet many protect themselves from this unknown, unseen predator as context to assault others.

Growing up a friend of my ex-boyfriend expressed how he felt comfortable with a particular girl. They were able to cry together. As friends we expressed happiness for him. In another situation someone may take offense or belittle him. Appreciating the incident as opposed to being appalled unifies us together.

In many of these situations I ponder if the person pushing me is the actual source of contempt or if it is similar to three people standing shoulder to shoulder. The person on the right bumps the person in the middle ergo bumps the person on the left. The person on the left must address the person on the right; otherwise, the person in the middle continues to be bumped from both sides though innocent of doing anything, except, standing there.

After attempting suicide at age fourteen, people became distant. It took awhile to realize they already lost someone to suicide and created distance as a barrier from emotional suffering. Alone in the situation the only way to protect myself was recognizing, to an extent, the reaction was normal. Teens have a high suicide rate. Women in general are likely to have suicidal thoughts until around age thirty and then men take over percentages of successful suicide after age thirty. It seems odd at first, yet women have a lot of stress related to being attractive and getting married. Men do not act out until reaching maturity. At this time begin wondering if they are the problem.

In addition to all this madness many people have had suicidal thoughts or know someone who has committed suicide. It is too common. Some people hide themselves behind bravado. Made to feel different and unloved when expressing thoughts of suicide they are provoked to promote suicide. Another approach is to become overly protective and more important to the group. This can lead to bullying. Despite the "Stomp out bullying" commercials, name calling might become bullying, yet it is not bullying until actions are taken.

What happens when the action is disagreeable? Growing up around a group of people who would hit someone who threatened their friend they grew weary of my tactics of resolving issues without violence. One day a member of the group was attacked by a neighbor. They employed my tactics and petitioned to evict the neighbor. The neighbor was evicted and they felt guilty. This placed pressure on me to conform by dismissing an overlying principle of violence is always a last resource. Forced to a make a decision, bend to group mentality or stay true to my beliefs. I have not seen them for awhile.

These situations continue as long as real issues are not addressed. Women rarely talk directly to another woman about malicious gossip, yet it happens all the time. Often gossip sounds okay. Someone was calling me a feminist; therefore, potential companions were avoiding the regular norms of dating. Unfortunately, this is the reason I did not like them. In the end, it was detrimental. Sadly, people in the middle take the abuse. Even more awkward, when trying to approach the gossip for her behavior people decide I was wrong. A lot of old friends cannot figure out why I lack a desire for their companionship. An entire dissertation on people reacting poorly to being treated maliciously is a waste of time.

Everyone cries. Everyone hurts. Everyone has been called names. Everyone has engaged in socially encouraged behavior, such as, finding creative usage of another person's name. Empathy attempts to ponder what they would do in the situation. Sympathy offers real advice because they have been in a similar situation. Diffusing problems before reaching violence is resolved with understanding and appreciation. It is also easier to see through the madness by thinking what it was like from the other person's perspective.

Related Article
Despite What They Say
An Average Distribution
Distance Defense
Being the Non-Stalker
Letting Go of Fantasies
Keeping a Good Attitude

Quirky Books
Vampire Nation by Arlene Russo